The Path After Birth - Reflections on Maternal Mental Health

By Becky Grimwood, Soul Balance Wellness

Maternal Mental Health Week (4th-10th May) offers an important moment to pause and acknowledge something that often goes unspoken: the wholeness of the health and wellness of new mothers. And if this is you or someone you love currently, or this was you looking back, then I hope this brings you some support.

When a new baby arrives into the world, it is usually welcomed with unending and unwavering love, attention, and around the clock care, meeting their needs as and when they arrive. This is a time of profound change for the mother too - physically, mentally and emotionally, and whilst they give all their energy to this perfect little person in their arms, they can also become quietly overwhelmed. Getting to know and rapidly learn a new way of being with a body that is recovering inside and out. Perhaps sleep patterns are altered, hormones fluctuate continuously, and maybe there are significant changes to nutrition as they find their routine with this newly welcomed family member. Feeling like you ‘should’ be happy, joyful, grateful, but wondering why perhaps you don’t, or didn’t feel that way. It can be hard to reach out, to talk about these thoughts and experiences.

The birthing event too, can leave an imprint on the nervous system. For some, this is a time of great joy, love, and immediate connection. For others, perhaps it didn’t go to plan and was a difficult or traumatic experience, and then the thoughts and memories of this time bring up a different set of feelings -  anxiety, emotional overwhelm, intrusive thoughts, difficulty sleeping, or maybe even a sense of disconnection from themselves.

If any of this feels familiar, it’s important to know that support is available. Speaking to your GP, health visitor, or midwife can be a first step, and services like NHS Talking Therapies offer accessible support for anxiety, low mood, depression, and trauma. There are also specialist organisations such as PANDAS Foundation UK, which supports parents experiencing perinatal mental health challenges, and Samaritans, available 24/7 if you need someone to talk to. As well as private counsellors and therapists, including here at The Tree Room. 

This is something I came to understand personally after the birth of my first child, and to a lesser extent after my second. After unexplained infertility and IVF, I couldn’t understand why I didn’t feel the ‘rush of love’ that my friends had felt when I finally welcomed my baby into the world. I felt guilty for not having an immediate bond, and at times, I questioned why I had even been through it all in the first place, if it was worth it, and longing for the ‘old me’ to come back again. Now, looking back to that time and the support I received when I shared my feelings, I can recognise that for what it was, and know that it was no reflection on the love I had for my child deep down. I can look back without trauma replaying, without guilt, and hold myself in compassion for what I had gone through. You see, maternal mental health isn’t just a result of what happened at birth, it is a culmination of many aspects of health, as well as social factors. And working out the big ‘But why do I feel like this?’ question, isn’t often a case of identifying one thing in isolation.  

Through my work, I often meet women and couples who have been through challenges to build their family, as well as clients who have experienced difficult pregnancies, births, or feeding journeys. In many of these conversations, the common thread isn’t what happened, but how those experiences continue to be stored and felt within the body and nervous system, often long after the moment itself has passed, and relived or experienced whenever triggered. It was from working with these clients, and wanting to further support them, as well as living my own experiences, that I qualified in the Three Step Rewind Technique. 

What is the Three Step Rewind Technique?

The Three Step Rewind Technique is a structured non-intrusive approach delivered over three sessions. It works by allowing the nervous system to revisit an experience in a gentle, controlled way, without the need to relive or verbally recount the details. What follows is guided ‘rewinding’ of the memory from different viewpoints, rewiring the pathways in the brain linked to that memory. This works with the subconscious mind, helping to reduce the emotional charge linked to a memory, so that it no longer triggers the same stress responses in the body. The technique supports the body in shifting out of the repeating patterns which have led to being stuck in a state of fight, flight or freeze. It creates space for calm, brings in clarity, and clients report feeling safer and more connected within themselves, ready to move on from what’s been held or stuck inside.

Maybe you hold trauma, or replay events/ memories from the perinatal period that cause you to feel or experience unwanted sensations or experiences, or maybe you experienced something which has impacted you and you have ‘locked it away in a box’ because you feel unable to process it right now. Know if this is you, support is out there and it starts by reaching out. There are many paths available, and finding the right one for you matters. 

If the Three Step Rewind sounds like something that could be right fit for you, do reach out for a conversation or to ask questions with absolutely no pressure to sign up. No-one should feel alone in their struggles, the right help and care is out there for you.   

You can read more, and contact me at https://soulbalancewellness.co.uk/three-step-rewind

Or via email, becky@soulbalancewellness.co.uk

About the author: Becky Grimwood is the founder of Soul Balance Wellness and  is a Fertility Yoga teacher and also specialises in Rewind Trauma Technique and Ear Acupuncture.