Perimenopause: The Alchemy of Becoming

Perimenopause hit me in my late 30s. Well, that’s when I first started experiencing symptoms, including hip pain, tiredness, night sweats and aches in my joints. At first, the symptoms were mild, and honestly, I didn’t consider for a second that they could be hormonal, let alone perimenopause.

As I drifted gently into my 40s, the symptoms ramped up and changed. After a few years, with some help from Dr Google, I started to realise that maybe, just maybe, I was experiencing perimenopause.

Now, listen. I’m highly educated in health, with Master’s-level qualifications in anatomy and physiology, alongside many years of study and practice as a yoga teacher. And I still didn’t recognise that what I was experiencing could be perimenopause! So please, give yourself a break if you’re experiencing symptoms and still feel unsure, confused or completely lost about what’s happening within your own body. You’re certainly not alone. It can be a rollercoaster at times, and sometimes it feels as though your body has changed the rules without bothering to tell you!

Knowledge is power

What helped me was knowledge. Knowledge is power, so they say, and in this instance, it really was.

Going to the GP wasn’t always helpful. Sometimes it felt like potluck as to whether you saw a practitioner who was knowledgeable about perimenopause. So, I started studying for myself.

I listened to podcasts, devoured Davina McCall’s Menopausing audiobook on my drives in the car, and read Stacey Sims’ Next Level to gain insight into what was happening to my body and to find some much-needed reassurance when my emotional and mental state felt a little fragile.

I also immersed myself in the NICE guidelines on perimenopause and menopause, so I understood the guidance and support available to me through the NHS as a woman in the UK. Armed with that knowledge, I went back to my GP and was able to access the help and support I needed.

But beneath all the research, the books, the podcasts and the appointments, there was an underlying struggle that I was dealing with internally.

My body was changing, and that was the biggest challenge of all.

I felt as though my body was betraying me. My femininity was betraying me. Even nature itself seemed to be letting me down. I felt too young for this to be happening (and, as it turned out, I was experiencing symptoms relatively early).

What if my body wasn’t betraying me?

This is where the real work began for me, and where the work I share through Dharmabelle comes in.

What if my body wasn’t betraying me, but was instead undoing, releasing and shedding old ways of being? What if this was an initiation? A welcoming home to parts of myself that had always been there but had somehow been ignored?

For much of my life, I had been creating, nurturing, building, achieving and holding everyone and everything together. Maybe this new season was asking me to take a step back from the exhaustion, the overachieving, the constant pushing, the automatic yeses and the times I ignored my own internal no.

Maybe my body was asking for something different.

I started to see perimenopause as a threshold. An invitation to come home to myself, something I had been guiding others towards for years, to step away from the constant chatter of the thinking mind and settle into a much deeper relationship with my body.

Through this process, I’ve learnt so much about the nutrition my body needs. Not yours, not hers, but mine. What works for me, what nourishes me and what helps me feel strong and well.

I started lifting weights and, perhaps surprisingly, became fitter and more comfortable in my skin than ever before.

My yoga practice has slowed down slightly. I care less about the handstand or the arm balance and settle more into what feels good for me and my body in that moment. I’m less interested in achieving something on the mat and more interested in finding peace.

And my no? It’s become so much louder and clearer! Alongside that, my boundaries have become firmer, allowing me to protect my energy and the peace I’ve worked so hard to find.

Perimenopause is alchemy: the transformation of a woman into who she was always meant to be.

Or perhaps, more accurately, the remembering of who she has always been beneath all the layers of expectation, responsibility and conditioning.

Coming home to yourself

Finding peace through perimenopause is a journey, and one of the things that has helped me most is connecting more deeply with my own body. This is a lifelong journey, not something we master overnight.

Begin to listen. Let your yes be something you can genuinely feel in your body. And if that yes isn’t there, perhaps it’s time to honour your no.

This is at the heart of the work I share through Dharmabelle. I create spaces for women to slow down, reconnect with themselves and explore what it means to truly listen to their bodies. Through women’s circles, Yogāsana, somatic inquiry and restorative practices, we explore ways to move away from the constant chatter of the thinking mind and settle into a deeper relationship with ourselves.

There’s something incredibly powerful about coming together with other women, sharing our experiences and realising we don’t have to navigate every twist and turn of life alone. Sometimes we need movement; sometimes we need stillness, a little soul nourishment or simply a space where we can put down the weight of everything we carry.

If you feel called to explore any of this for yourself, you can find out more about my classes, workshops and women’s circles at dharmabelle.co.uk.

Perhaps this season isn’t asking us to become someone new at all.

Perhaps it’s inviting us to come home to ourselves.

I’d love to welcome you.

Claire